We’ve dug deep to rake up the Best Plant Puns and Plant Jokes on the Internet for laughter that will really grow on you!
Feeling a bit down? We’ve scoured the internet for the best plant puns and jokes to uplift your mood like a daisy in the sun! Easy to remember and definitely drought-tolerant, plant these succulent one-liners at your next gardener’s meet-up, and watch the magic sprout!
Best Plant Puns and Plant Jokes Around the Internet
Still stuck with “lettuce turnip the beet?” Let us help you move past these dated dad-jokes with our list of the spiciest one-liners in plant town!
1. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
2. Why don’t plants like math?
Because it gives them square roots!
3. How do trees access the internet?
They log in!
4. Why did the gardener plant a light bulb?
He wanted to grow a power plant!
5. What do you call a fake noodle plant?
An impasta!
6. How do you fix a broken tomato?
With tomato paste!
7. What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
8. Why don’t oysters give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
9. What’s a tree’s favorite soda?
Root beer!
10. What do you call a plant that loves to read?
A book-leaf!
11. Why do flowers always drive so fast?
Because they put their petals to the metal!
12. What did one flower say to the other flower?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
13. Why did the gardener bury the flashlight?
He wanted to grow a light bulb plant!
14. How do you make a plant laugh?
You give it a little bit of thyme!
15. Why don’t plants ever leave the house?
Because they’re rooted to the spot!
16. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a tomato?
Frosty the tomato!
17. What do you call a flower that runs on electricity?
A power petal!
18. Why did the plant break up with its girlfriend?
Because she was too clingy!
19. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch!
20. What do you call a plant that always forgets things?
An absent stem!
If you love these plant pun names, then you’re in for an adventure because we’ve got plenty more like these!
21. What do you call a lazy herb?
Slack-tus!
22. What do you call a potato that’s not in a good mood?
A grump-tato!
23. Why did the cactus go on a diet?
It was feeling a little prickly!
24. What do you call a plant that’s always happy?
Succulent!
25. What do you call a vegetable that’s good at Math?
A calcula-tater!
26. What’s a flower’s favorite type of music?
Poppy music!
27. What do you get when you cross a flower and a bird?
A tweet-pea!
28. Why did the plant go to therapy?
It needed to get rooted!
29. What do you call a plant that’s always on time?
Punctual!
30. Why did the tomato turn green?
Because it was green with envy!
31. What did the grape say when it got stepped on twice?
Nothing, I just let out a little more wine.
32. Why did the melon go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well!
33. Why did the carrot go to the doctor?
Because it needed a vitamin-see!
34. What did the apple tree say to the peach tree?
You’re a-peachin’ to me!
35. What do you call a plant that’s afraid of the dark?
A scaredy bloom!
36. Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungi!
37. What do you call a plant that’s always confused?
A daze-y plant!
38. Why did the plant join the army?
To become a colonel!
39. What do you call a plant that can play the guitar?
A rock plant!
40. Why did the plant fail math?
Because it had square roots!
41. What do you call a plant that’s always telling jokes?
A pun-ctilious plant
42. What did the lettuce say to the celery?
Let us be friends!
43. Why did the tomato go out with a prune?
Because it couldn’t get a date!
44. What did the corn say when it was complimented?
Aww, shucks!
45. What do you get when you cross a cactus and a rose?
A sticky situation!
46. How do plants communicate?
They use the grapevine!
47. What do you get when you cross a sunflower and a rose?
A sunny disposition!
48. What do you call a plant that’s a bad influence?
A bad seed!
49. What do you call a plant that works in a factory?
A produce worker!
50. Why do plants hate math?
Because it involves square roots!
Do you love plant jokes? Then keep on scrolling because we’re only halfway through!
51. What do you call a flower that’s addicted to coffee?
A caffeine-ation!
52. What did the acorn say when it grew up?
Gee, I’m a tree!
53. What did the flower say to the bee?
Buzz off!
54. What do you call a plant that’s always up for a good time?
A party-plant!
55. What do you call a plant that’s always getting into trouble?
A wildflower!
56. What do you call a plant that likes to be alone?
An independent-t!
57. What do you call a plant that’s always in the spotlight?
A star-fern!
58. What do you call a plant that’s always happy to see you?
A smilax!
59. What do you get when you cross a plant and a calculator?
A succulent addition!
60. What do you call a plant that’s always grumpy?
A sour-stem!
61. What do you get when you cross a plant and a clown?
A fun-gi!
62. Why don’t plants like to play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs!
63. What do you call a plant that loves to shop?
A mall-ow!
64. What do you get when you cross a plant and a bee?
A honey-bunch!
65. Why did the plant go on a date with a mushroom?
Because it was a fungi to be with!
66. What do you call a plant that’s always telling stories?
A yarn-seed!
67. Why don’t plants like to ride bikes?
They prefer to be rooted in place!
68. What do you call a plant that’s always taking selfies?
A snap-dragon!
69. What do you get when you cross a plant and a clock?
A vine-tage timepiece!
70. Why did the plant go to the bank?
To get a little bit of plant money!
71. What do you call a plant that’s always anxious?
A jitter-plant!
72. Why do plants always get invited to parties?
Because they know how to spruce things up!
73. What do you get when you cross a plant and a chef?
A herb-alicious meal!
74. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
It ran out of juice!
75. What do you call a plant that’s always winning awards?
A prize-leek!
76. Why don’t plants like to be called names?
Because they get photosynthetic!
77. What do you call a plant that’s always running?
A vine-r!
78. What do you get when you cross a plant and a rock?
A mossy boulder!
79. Why did the plant go to the dentist?
To get its root canal fixed
80. What do you call a plant that’s always looking at itself in the mirror?
A vain-illa plant.
They say laughter is the best medicine, but jokes on plants are definitely a close frond. ;)
81. Why did the grape leave the party?
Because it didn’t want to raisin any trouble.
82. What do you get when you cross a plant and a computer?
A root directory.
83. What do you call a plant that’s always trying to be the center of attention?
A narcissi-plant.
84. What do you call a plant that’s always on the move?
A fern-atic.
85. Why did the plant go on a diet?
Because it wanted to be a lean, green, photosynthesizing machine.
86. What do you call a plant that’s always cold?
A chilli pepper.
87. Why did the gardener get a computer?
To log in and log out.
88. What do you call a plant that’s always telling jokes?
A pun-tillo pepper.
89. Why don’t plants like to watch horror movies?
Because they get scared leafless.
90. What do you get when you cross a plant and a cowboy?
A cacti with a ten-gallon hat.
91. Why did the plant get a job as a telephone operator?
Because it could always branch out to new conversations.
92. What do you call a plant that’s always working on its tan?
A sun-flower.
93. Why don’t plants play football?
Because they prefer to be rooting for their team.
94. What do you get when you cross a plant and a comedian?
A yucca-yucca plant.
95. What did the celery say when it broke up with its girlfriend?
She was just too much to celery.
96. Why don’t plants like to go on road trips?
They prefer to stay rooted in one place.
97. What do you call a plant that’s always gossiping?
A chatty palm.
98. Why did the plant get a tattoo?
Because it wanted to put down some roots.
99. What did the Canadian tree say to the American?
I’m from Montreeal.
100. How do you identify a dogwood tree?
By its bark.
We’ve treated your hunger for laughter, but you still need a feast for your eyes–here it is in the form of funny-looking plants!
